A Brotherhood of Vulnerability: How The Men’s Table Helps Men in Newtown Open Up

Sep 25, 20244 min read

In the pursuit of modern mental health, men in Newtown are finding a unique avenue for connection through the community group, The Men’s Table.

Far from traditional therapy sessions or the usual camaraderie at the pub, The Men’s Table offers an inclusive, judgement-free space where men gather monthly to share the highs and lows of their lives.

By Jamie Apps

Eric Balinghasay, a member of The Men’s Table since 2021 and part of its organisational team, shared how this initiative is transforming the way men engage with one another about their emotional well-being.

“The Men’s Table provides men an opportunity to have meaningful and honest conversations,” Balinghasay told Neighbourhood Media.

A Path to Connection and Support

Balinghasay joined The Men’s Table in August 2021 and has since become a dedicated member of Table 27, a group that meets in West Ryde. Reflecting on his journey, he explained, “I continue to be part of that table, meeting monthly for dinner.”

In 2022, Balinghasay’s role expanded, and he began working in the organisation’s central team, referred to as “the Kitchen.” His mission has been to build and guide tables as they form and grow, supporting their members in developing the same kind of deep, dependable connections that he has found.

According to Balinghasay, The Men’s Table began in 2011 when Ben Hughes, looking for a place to talk openly, founded the first table.

“Ben realised the value of having a group of men who would listen to him in a safe space with no judgement.”

Men's Table Get Together in The Hills, Sydney

This simple but powerful concept caught on, and by 2018, Hughes and co-founder David Pointon registered The Men’s Table as a national nonprofit organisation.

These days, each table consists of 8-12 men in a local area/neighbourhood who meet monthly for dinner. The Men's Table welcomes men of all ages, 18 and above, all backgrounds, professional and personal cases or orientations. This diversity is a core to the make-up of each man's experience at each table as it allows a wide array of perspectives to foster beneficial discussion.

Today, there are over 225 tables across Australia, including Table 141 in Newtown, providing men with a critical space to “build supportive communities for themselves and other men,” said Balinghasay.

Mental Health Challenges: A Silent Struggle for Many Men

When discussing the scale of men’s mental health issues in Australia, Balinghasay did not shy away from the urgency of the matter. He noted that many men often suffer in silence, feeling unable to express their emotional struggles within the confines of societal norms.

This is where The Men’s Table plays a vital role. “By providing men with an opportunity to have meaningful and honest conversations, build genuine and dependable connections,” Balinghasay explained, The Men’s Table offers a space where emotional vulnerability is not just accepted but encouraged.

For many men, this open space stands in stark contrast to the more superficial interactions that are often part of everyday social life. According to Balinghasay, “It’s a blokie culture where your barriers are up,” but The Men’s Table helps men “be more vulnerable and raw in a safe space.”

Reflecting on their experiences with The Men’s Table the following testimonials from attendees really stuck with me:

“It’s really comforting to know that I'm not the only one experiencing what I’m experiencing.”
“I get to be there for other men & in turn, they get to do that for me.”
“What keeps drawing me back to The Men’s Table is not just 9 new friends… it’s that I recognise that all of these guys take responsibility for their own lives.”
“To know that I’ve got a group of people that, every month, I can lay my soul on the table for is just fantastic.”

Creating New Avenues for Mental Health Awareness

The success of The Men’s Table hinges on creating an environment that fosters openness while steering clear of conventional therapy’s formality. “You’re not there to receive advice or solutions,” Balinghasay said, emphasising that the group is focused on creating a listening and supportive network rather than solving problems.

He recounted stories of newcomers who had never shared their feelings so openly, expressing surprise at how a group of strangers could offer such a safe space for vulnerability.

“It’s the first time in their life they share their secrets or feelings in front of a group of strangers,” said Balinghasay. It’s these kinds of testimonials that highlight the life-changing potential of The Men’s Table for men across Australia.

Looking to Get Involved? Here’s How

Men in Newtown who are interested in joining this growing community can get involved by attending an introductory dinner, known as an “Entree.” These dinners provide an overview of what The Men’s Table experience is like and give potential new members a chance to ask questions before committing to a table.

Though there are no in-person Entrees scheduled in Newtown for the remainder of 2024, Balinghasay mentioned that Zoom Entrees take place every two weeks, allowing men from all over Australia to join the conversation.

For those looking for more information, visiting the Men’s Table website or contacting their helpline is a simple first step to connecting with this rapidly expanding network of supportive men.